are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
