oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
