Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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