Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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