Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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