I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize