Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
