i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
