I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
