OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
