Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
