READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
