She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
