just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He shit in the fireplace
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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