I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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