Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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