I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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