this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷