Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth

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  (541): You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth http://tfl.nu/plwz
  Replies (47) Good night (1372) Bad night (5814)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (12002) Bad night (1125)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake

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  (514): Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake http://tfl.nu/tx6v
  Replies (10) Good night (2056) Bad night (1778)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.

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  (501): These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves. http://tfl.nu/s1g0
  Replies (7) Good night (3458) Bad night (1121)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.

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  (801): My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village. http://tfl.nu/2k9f
  Replies (7) Good night (1718) Bad night (1185)
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  (310): View more from California

  Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.

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  (310): Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate. http://tfl.nu/vwb7
  Replies (9) Good night (5744) Bad night (1024)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight

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  (602): I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight http://tfl.nu/yocu
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (4339)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.

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  (847): My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan. http://tfl.nu/ww9p
  Replies (10) Good night (2519) Bad night (679)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (29) Good night (4156) Bad night (779)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."

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  (616): When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED." http://tfl.nu/uf90
  Replies (8) Good night (1904) Bad night (1124)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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  (646): I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands. http://tfl.nu/f9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (810) Bad night (1036)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.

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  (727): Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what. http://tfl.nu/k4ko
  Replies (5) Good night (1865) Bad night (694)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1743) Bad night (536)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.

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  (651): I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk. http://tfl.nu/9vy1
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (369)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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  (214): This is my gift to your gina http://tfl.nu/cr2i
  Replies (8) Good night (560) Bad night (405)

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