Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful