i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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