oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!