New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.