I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no