Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.

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  (512): boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above. http://tfl.nu/vdaw
  Replies (14) Good night (4606) Bad night (997)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?

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  (407): is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation? http://tfl.nu/cy8e
  Replies (30) Good night (708) Bad night (9323)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.

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  (978): I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there. http://tfl.nu/oxsp
  Replies (9) Good night (3230) Bad night (1071)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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  (201): She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza. http://tfl.nu/d9wz
  Replies (20) Good night (2954) Bad night (920)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.

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  (713): He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off. http://tfl.nu/azk9
  Replies (8) Good night (702) Bad night (2211)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.

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  (419): Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class. http://tfl.nu/zkx8
  Replies (5) Good night (927) Bad night (2550)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?

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  (423): I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I? http://tfl.nu/fiqy
  Replies (5) Good night (2629) Bad night (1070)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?

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  (609): why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs? http://tfl.nu/z5vs
  Replies (19) Good night (545) Bad night (1790)
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  (562): View more from California

  I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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  (562): I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/q7ed
  Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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  (425): I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings. http://tfl.nu/8k6q
  Replies (2) Good night (570) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now

  (561): View more from Florida

  I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.

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  (423): He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now (561): I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE. http://tfl.nu/f0wr
  Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.

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  (202): Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today. (240): Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality. http://tfl.nu/yhrj
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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  (334): You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink. http://tfl.nu/xadi
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man

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  (262): I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space (262): Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man http://tfl.nu/r48t
  Replies (1) Good night (572) Bad night (214)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.

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  (515): I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore. http://tfl.nu/112w
  Replies (0) Good night (405) Bad night (326)

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