dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
