she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.