his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
