So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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