its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize