Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
