I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I have fence marks all over my body
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You ate ashes out of my bong
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
