I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
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Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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