Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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