I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize