? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Threesome in a minivan. New low
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
