you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.