Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over