question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day