another moral hangover. fuck.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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