Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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