my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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