Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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