SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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