Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
