UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
