i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
