She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
