Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
