You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
