I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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