my phone needs a breathalizer
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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