I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
