So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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