he puts the penis in happiness.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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