took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old