i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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