Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?

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  (614): I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign? http://tfl.nu/97mu
  Replies (11) Good night (1433) Bad night (585)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.

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  (251): i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend. http://tfl.nu/2rn9
  Replies (9) Good night (622) Bad night (1889)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.

  (903): View more from Texas

  That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.

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  (903): I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative. (903): That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame. http://tfl.nu/rh6l
  Replies (30) Good night (738) Bad night (3450)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better

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  (907): frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better http://tfl.nu/58yp
  Replies (31) Good night (5585) Bad night (622)
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  (347): View more from New York

  she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.

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  (347): she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick. http://tfl.nu/o2a1
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (3715)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.

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  (484): I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night. http://tfl.nu/i8lc
  Replies (4) Good night (947) Bad night (3954)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?

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  (515): We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences? http://tfl.nu/xlpv
  Replies (2) Good night (1105) Bad night (358)
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  (559): View more from California

  It was like die hard. Except with more penises.

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  (559): It was like die hard. Except with more penises. http://tfl.nu/fa39
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (467)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom

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  (860): i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom http://tfl.nu/gild
  Replies (11) Good night (545) Bad night (2042)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

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  (312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (633)
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  (916): View more from California

  I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

  (831): View more from California

  Promise??

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  (916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (517)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.

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  (570): I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls. http://tfl.nu/xtaz
  Replies (6) Good night (288) Bad night (563)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.

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  (780): In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far. http://tfl.nu/dhez
  Replies (4) Good night (580) Bad night (238)
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  (646): View more from New York

  He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...

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  (646): He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand... http://tfl.nu/h56p
  Replies (8) Good night (225) Bad night (668)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

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  (813): ! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup http://tfl.nu/9us7
  Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (184)

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