Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(845): At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare. http://tfl.nu/jdv9

Replies (21) Good night (764) Bad night (1941)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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(612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj

Replies (34) Good night (2180) Bad night (8481)
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(954): View more from Florida

You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.

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(954): You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/e9kk

Replies (15) Good night (1071) Bad night (5882)
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(312): View more from Illinois

You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

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(312): You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/bowu

Replies (9) Good night (4472) Bad night (1261)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

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(416): He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner. http://tfl.nu/hs5r

Replies (2) Good night (2228) Bad night (986)
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(216): View more from Ohio

And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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(216): And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win. http://tfl.nu/kl48

Replies (2) Good night (1523) Bad night (665)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.

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(320): Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house. http://tfl.nu/jt6d

Replies (10) Good night (1645) Bad night (677)
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(954): View more from Florida

Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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(954): Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something. http://tfl.nu/6993

Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (900)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.

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(503): Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals. http://tfl.nu/1rao

Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (512)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.

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(832): You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life. http://tfl.nu/rg4t

Replies (3) Good night (1235) Bad night (615)
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(913): View more from Kansas

She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

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(913): She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car? http://tfl.nu/qi3u

Replies (13) Good night (1421) Bad night (644)
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(530): View more from California

She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.

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(530): She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes. http://tfl.nu/pzyk

Replies (2) Good night (1046) Bad night (324)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it

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(321): He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it http://tfl.nu/2lkm

Replies (0) Good night (260) Bad night (554)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.

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(203): She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap. http://tfl.nu/smpe

Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (258)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.

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(+44): eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report. http://tfl.nu/s4ig

Replies (0) Good night (233) Bad night (117)

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