Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
