Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
