Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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