so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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