Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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