god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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