we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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