and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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