i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
