i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
