i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
