ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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