Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
