Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
