love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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