Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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