I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
