I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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