Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
