had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
