But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
